角落日常

外在的顯形    the exterior  是為了    is shown  切合內在    to correspond  而存在的    inner sphere 將這個對應的方向    reversing 相反    this direction 則會造成    makes 空殼    productions of shell 空洞化    emptiness 軀體化    carcasses 物化    objectification 內在    the inner sphere 是主體    is the subject 訓練肉眼    Training of the eyes 是為了    is for the purpose of 描繪內在    displaying what's inside 若以肉眼為藉    if we intend to catch eyeballs 以符徵暗示    with implications of symbols 有可能    it may possibly 產生錯指    give wrong indications 無論刻意    purposely 或大意    or without knowing 這是    This is 欺瞞與受騙的機制    the process of deluding and being cheated 也可能成為    it might become 不得不扭曲的    a means that must be twisted 目的達成手段    for achievements 肉眼的錯誤    t...

Right I gave myself  a surgery  for my soul MIN SJÆL Although my mind could never  completely realize at the same pace it could mostly guess and only surrender  to my Intuition How did I do this Something in the core covered with Time layers by layers cleaving a pile of tiles bare handed with a shout electrifying the heart with an AED thundering the earth with gathered electrons from the sky  I thought this was reluctance I thought it was sorrow no, they aren't. I knew, but ain't for sure words lost in there and dissolved before they were formed it is  and will always be delightful enjoyments with leisure high ranked joyfulness and bliss in my case now that I read my soul with my truth other than putting on clothes  that never fit me what a wonder go through the cracks between these plates  on the crust of the Earth with sharpness of the Consciousness blade hands with  strengths  of the Will  Pains of exposures blood of staleness I ...

下午   This afternoon 在腦海裡   I sensed kisses 感受到親吻   in a vision of mine 如同情慾竄流在我體內一樣   like the lust actually flowed through my guts 時間大約地球的十秒左右   about ten seconds of Earth time 畫面是   The picture is 男人對著女人   man's back, facing woman, towards left 未著衣而未裸露   naked but not exposed 兩人在整個範圍的左上方   they are at the upper left side of the view 感覺極度偏離畫面重心地   somehow unbalanced from the center 我同時用眼角看著   feeling like watching with my eye corners 又清楚看著他們的情感細節   yet at the same time getting their detailed emotions 畫面整體時，他們是彼此凝視的，在西方油畫那樣的筆觸與光影裡 In the whole picture, they are gazing at each other with desire in an air of renaissance oil painting. 進入細節的時候，我感受到情感的灼熱與刺目的光線 In details, I feel the heat of affections and blinding lights. 兩人的視角與感受   The views and feelings of man and woman  交錯切換著   interchanged and turned 因此   making  their energy 能量流動...

開始   initializing  抓住了   a 裡面的平衡感   balance within 畫面看起來   converted into images 像是   as of 由中心向外散發的   blood streams  幾注血流   radiated from the center 從定格的空中   up in the still air 緩而穩地   slowly and steadily  downwards 往下支撐   bracing 因此又好像   resembling 植物的枝藤   rattans and vines 生命的鮮綠延展   stretches of  greenness and  vivacity 活著   alive 動著   and vigorous 呼吸著   breathing 著地   landing -------------------------- 對   to  身體的欲求   decipher 做   sexual instinct 思考    eroticism 來去的念頭   they are flows of thoughts 穿脫   clothes put on and took off 化學反應的生成   chemical processes  在腦的心智運作裡   reflected as words 倒映成   inside the pond 文字   of mind 訴說   verbalizing 情慾   lust and sensuality ...

so I 暫停了   (就是呢，我 took a halt of) 某個消耗的   (some dissipative) 習性   (habitus) which I tried   (我想試圖) to see  (看見) substances are being 消耗著   (物質被 consumed) 就像身體   (as the bodies are) like the body is always being washed away   (如同身軀總是被沖刷著) 被重力固定    (pulled, fixed by gravity) 因旋轉而逸散   (dispersed by the whirl) 散溢   (Effusion) spilled   (溢出) sprayed   (飛灑) splashed   (噴濺) scattered   (潰散) the challenge is   (這個挑戰在於) 根據內在的聚力形式   (according to the   form  of  inner force) 將物質依照著   (we   arrange and  display the matter) 顯現 顯示 to make them consistent    (使它們) 內與外   (interiority and exteriority) with one another   (彼此一致) this action I paused   (我所暫止的這個動作) I feel its inertia   (我感覺到它的慣性) coming up naturally   (自然地出現) the nature of  ...

為了從什麼移開視線     The indulgency out of purpose 而刻意做的「盡情」     is to avert something 享樂主義的背面     At the back of Hedonism 是為了脫逃什麼     there is an escape from something 以享樂為目的而生活     T he pursuit for pleasure as a principle of life 必定招來更多痛苦     must call for greater pains 是個愚蠢的主張     which is a ludicrous  advocacy 如     for example    商業化主義     commercialism 把東西代換、拉扯目的，去刻意     to replace A with B, to make up goals 弄出什麼     to fabricate  來讓自己「感覺好」     in order to feel good 自我設定，邏輯式的封閉性     self-defined, closed-up with logics self trapping     自投羅網 先假想設定一個狀況必定讓自己感覺好     Assuming a situation that must be good 然後去刻意行為     and then conduct certain deeds 接著在這個目的達成之後     Finally, tell yourself that this feels really good 告訴自己自己感覺真好     a fter the goals are reached 這不是     Isn't that 恐怖故事嗎? ...