角落日常

My walk sounds different. since a few days ago. or within a week, I  can't recall. it was, sounded like them, the parents. now, it's totally new.  when he lived with me in that badly designed apartment, I heard his walks in that place where I grew up. it soothed me thoroughly and soothes me still now. it cleans away almost all the dirt clustered and stuck in my mind. like covering up with airs from a brand new place. lighted.  calmly. with vigor. oh... I think I wanted him really bad, yet there's something else... this me... I must choose. I'm... crawling damn hard to her. cause... there was too much distractions this world gave me and ripped me into pieces. being 'born' into the related ones this body couldn't choose. in 'time', the tunnel we call. crawling, tumbling. to find her back. the sound, of my walks, has changed recently. and I think I find her. I'm here. feels like a hell long messy dream. the 'before'. that I stared for too lo...

another girl next to me, chatting. I ask her, what's it about the first time you have affections with another life owner? 我們微笑，她回想，表情說了些什麼。 there are other couples walking, entering our sight behind a centered wall where the bar-like table we are at extends to. 當我離開數字化的資源計量方式所仰賴的生活時，我總是感覺神智好轉。 我發覺，自己在承受那個系統之時，失去了恰當的自我判斷與選擇內涵。 我的視覺變得混沌不清。 我目睹自身漸漸成為空殼。 我好像...成為另一個「東西」，而它將這個有生命的我，一點一點推移、削鏟。 Neediness We might born with whole sex, and choose to show only one function of it. in this world. without a choice. people, mistaking their life purposes for looking at the triviality of their own lives. searching for the other sex to be whole. not knowing that they just already are. comfort themselves with any kinds and ways of material symbols, self-soothing about it, telling themselves stories like mythology. pertaining 'surviving'. you may call. self-tossing purposes like dogs throwing frisbees for themselves to catch. you don't know what to do with the body you get. you killed it ...