角落日常

為了從什麼移開視線     The indulgency out of purpose 而刻意做的「盡情」     is to avert something 享樂主義的背面     At the back of Hedonism 是為了脫逃什麼     there is an escape from something 以享樂為目的而生活     T he pursuit for pleasure as a principle of life 必定招來更多痛苦     must call for greater pains 是個愚蠢的主張     which is a ludicrous  advocacy 如     for example    商業化主義     commercialism 把東西代換、拉扯目的，去刻意     to replace A with B, to make up goals 弄出什麼     to fabricate  來讓自己「感覺好」     in order to feel good 自我設定，邏輯式的封閉性     self-defined, closed-up with logics self trapping     自投羅網 先假想設定一個狀況必定讓自己感覺好     Assuming a situation that must be good 然後去刻意行為     and then conduct certain deeds 接著在這個目的達成之後     Finally, tell yourself that this feels really good 告訴自己自己感覺真好     a fter the goals are reached 這不是     Isn't that 恐怖故事嗎? ...

neediness comes from disowning  denying one's past it traps them in memories where they "lives" in death people who own their past process their inner substances that is most importantly the affections carried by memories they separate and select  nutrients to absorb the same as processing information they can create their own reality with strong supports from their own recognition people who contempt the history discarding them like garbage are the trash they themselves abandoning they need persuasions  conveyances selling techniques approvals attentions applauses dominances calculating all these stuff from outside of themselves trouble makers excuses inventors annoying persons narcissists the being-nice ones the talkers the controllers the unsatisfied the self-entitled the purpose-graspers the success-definers the self indulgence the delusions make believes self brainwashing all these crap they traded with emotional recognitions to hold on  to the 'world' of the...

那個      t he  會突然被感知到的      precipitate sensation 從畫面      in visions 有時候加上氣味      sometimes with scents 轉來的「回憶感」      turned into feelings of  m émoire   一種濕冷的      drenched 像是死亡的      cessation 味道      kind of smell 「過去」      the past 在裡頭    within 情感成分不等      varied affections 有時候讓人渴望、懷想      desired, yearned 有時候使人驚異、警覺      frightening, alerting 由於對死亡的 熟悉感      We get the weight from it 而不自覺地      eventually 感知其中的情感、重量      due to  the familiarity with death 廢墟、遺址、古建築      ruins, relics, ancient constructions 大概是這類獨特的事物      such rarity 死亡的空間      spaces of quiescence 情感的濃縮物      condensation of emotions 凝結的      congealment  記憶      of me...

Pacifier      安撫而使人平息的事物 it never was actually anybody     從來不是某個「人」 it is always     它總是 Thoughts from courage and tenderness     來自勇氣與溫柔的思緒 Music of energy and quietness     有著能量與靜謐的音樂 Nature that heals     療癒的自然 Food with nutrition     營養的食物 I think I     我想我 grasped the sense     領悟到了 of acceptance     「接受」的感覺 it took     這耗費了 an ocean of sapphire      我裡頭 in me      一個海洋的藍 to differentiate     去區分出 the distance     「我」以及 「這個世界」 between     和「這個靈魂」 me and the world     之間 to this soul     各別的距離 Earth traveler     地球的旅行者 with time and space     以時間、以空間 this     這個 unusual way     不尋常的 of breathing     呼吸方式 like music that makes me smile and weep     如同那些令我微笑或哭泣的音樂 pictures of memories     記憶的圖像 playing from the beginning ...

「飯都快涼掉了，越吃越多啦！」 a cousin said this with impatience repeatedly to me when I was 4 or 5. someone tore off my will for living, and said 'caringly' to me:  "I hope that you can be like sunshine, so I choose this English name for you, 'Sunny'." I won't judge that anymore. I am careful with this body I learn I observe I memorize I understand I trust it Sometimes confused irritated A lot of times I hope I'm not bounded by it. It feels like I don't belong here in it like, the moment I wake up. The eating. to turn it into a joyful deed praising nature's abundance for 'us' it's because we  need to do so otherwise it would be truth of brutality that's why people  praise their kids for eating meals up. that's why... in this world on this planet we are deluding ourselves over and over again and again So easy to fill up my belly I haven't even  actually done a thing (what is a 'thing'?) I feed myself with them carried with nut...

巴西電台的葡語人聲 加上Satie的鋼琴 好像 雨天裡的忽陰乍晴 讓人不知道 眼睛接收到的光線 究竟是陰雨裡的微光 還是微晴中的一抹冷暗 我相信 您已經盡力了 而我也相信 自己已經盡力 Human voices in Portuguese from Brazilian radio station along with Satie's piano drops resemble the coexisting of sunny shines and cloudy shades in drizzling days to the eyes I wonder whether it's the subtle clearness in the rain or a dimness through the light I believe that you've tried your best thus I believe that I have done what I could Sumikko 2021/03/05 Taiwan, Hualien.

生命的能源     the energy of life 賴以維生的     that we depend on 最小粒子     in its smallest scale 是意念     is the intention 從另一處，稱作時空的路徑     From there, the route called space-time 它經由旋轉，累成了     it is accumulated into all living things 萬物    by the Spin 從此處，意識裡     From here, in Consciousness 它不分時空     there's no time or space 你隨時能觸碰到     Whenever you feel like, you can get in touch with 希臘神話     Greek mythology 漢文學說     sinology 古典音樂     classical music 武士精神     samurai spirit 但，千百年的樹木     Only that the trees of hundreds of years 你動不得     you shouldn't try to make objectifications 形體裡     in the shells 醞釀著時空     it conceives Time 意識裡     in the Consciousness 僅有此刻     there's only now 有一個     there's a 生命意識     consciousness of life 叫做選擇     called choice 上揚的   ...

記憶的水潭（心智） 撈起雜質廢物後 依然需要等待，回憶的細碎物緩慢下沉 管理者小女孩（意志），待在潭邊 附近那個金銀色的植物葉片（靈魂） 散射著光芒（靈性） 她托著臉，看著（意識） (02/28 at night) ++++++++ (噢天) 我看見光亮的那個 是不是我的靈魂 好像金銀色的 植物構造 小女孩 她沒消失 she is still alive she is coming back... 她正在活過來 正 要跟我一起 甦醒 我知道 我看見她 終於 能夠好好看著 我們將 一同甦醒過來 那個銀亮的 植物葉片般的東西 微微地上下飄移 如呼吸般 但無重力感的 is it shedding off or not?    (2021/02/27  7:10-7:22) ++++++++ 突然有一個難言的感覺 (為什麼會這樣...) 昨晚和今天看了自己寫下的文字之後 現在我感覺 (啊...) 到底是什麼呢，我感覺什麼離開了。 (就是...) 藉由我自己的文字 我把身上一些部分 從我自己身上移出 放在那裡 透過我給的文字 我看著它 我一直 感受到 新顯現的 從自己身上的 未發覺過的 又那麼自然的 移除了什麼。從我身上剝離開來。 透明的。 而我要說...的是... 我感覺自己即將可以... 重新... 這些... 去回應我思索過的夢想。 這是...由於我與這些思索一致，由於我... 信任，做出思索的自身。 即將能夠... 動身前往各處。 埋在地底下17年的蟬。 讓自己，脫除套用他人意識的習慣。 (recent days) ++++++++++ I'm giving myself something. that is... I know I need to do this for whatever reasons (this subject that I give things to, is) tucked  inside... tenderness is what it needs... to carefully notice. sometimes...or always, it's too translucent when seeing, visually it's invisible. but at the same time I ...