The origin of human being's self hatred



is that we lack of
innate weapons / defenses 
and instinctive acts
like other creatures have

Thus we still roll with this 
sense of crises 
that've been long kept
deep in our memories

Maybe some of us
still need to get to 
their "deserved" lives
by going through 
the ritual of fighting

whatever the reason is

as long as they can 
struggle for something


Like it's ridiculously hard
for them to see 

how they are blinded by themselves
while ironically claiming to be 
the king of all species




All the above
just with this simple
and single cognition

caused

most of the problems 
mentally and realistically
in human histories
past and present

right now



Also
from this lack

we gain 
and develop

thriving


All together
treasured brilliances
sadness of callousness


Scale
swaying violently
toppling like a joke



Break yourself 
into two or more parts 
in order to
reach the boundaries
in opposite directions





You hate yourself

So when an innocent
loves him/herself without a doubt
you feel disagreed


You feel disturbed
don't you?

you want to hurt them
(but you will tell yourself another story)
because of your own blackness
reflected by their spotless shines
(like a flawless mirror)


You hate yourself 
because of no one else
but you

yet you can't admit that
so you make up any kind of excuses
for you to accuse them


criminating
those undefiled ones



And gradually
you brainwashed yourself 
that they are devils

(you hate yourself)
thinking that you are haunted 
possessed 
needing rescues
from your "holy realm"
(and oddly claiming yourself guilty
confessing in a small chamber 
about your repentance)


(you hate yourself)
not knowing that
(and will never see)
the very devil
is exactly you


You
a human
hurt 
another creature
just like you

because
self hatred
allows you to do so

twisted entitlements
justified brutalities




You look away

covering this irksomeness up
with self praising
with approvals
with story telling
with image modeling

glorifying
this you 
with constructed sophistication

and hide behind it



(you hate yourself)

You can't stay alone with yourself
can't stand to touch your own thoughts

That's why you need to own
a party or parties of people
(your puppets)
to make sure that
you are worshiped 
like a god

(the only truth is that
you hate yourself
isn't it so?)


All these miserable idiocies
come from this 
stupid mentality





「self denying」





Are humans weak?
Of course, why not!

They can't do anything 
when they are newly born
so needy and annoying
as they "grow up"

It's exactly why we part away 
from all the other creatures

the very reason that we are 
self-defined "remarkable"


Are humans disgusting?
Of course, why not!

Some of them consider 
they own things they "discover"


Do human "children" hate their "parents"?
Of course, why not!

See how they ask these youngsters 
to achieve things they themselves can't

and how some manipulate them like objects
in the name of parenting

or how some even forbid those young ones
to be what they want to become, asking them 
only to be exactly the same as themselves 
(or even worse, how they thought they were
in their deluded mind)



Just accept it 
this ugly hatred toward yourself

Just admit that
you hate your own species
like unbearable waste

then maybe
you don't need to go through the path of
becoming twisted, troublesome
bullying narcissists

who are
self-blinding all their lives
just to conceal the fact 
that they've already smothered their own souls
by denying the truth of 

self hatred





Face your own darkness
and you will discover

by the constant watching
over this gloom (which is 
intrinsic in this species)
in this body and mind
of YOU

it is slowly put down
converted into 
a piece of information

for you to look closely into

You then become 
the one who own it

rather than 
the one being owned








Sumikko
2021/04/27 20:54 Taiwan, Hualien.